Trying to get back to day 1.

So, it has been so very hard to get out of my mind, out of my habit, and out of my addiction. How does/did this happen??? Why am I an addict? How do I, knowingly, know that it is wrong and still go out for wine, get wasted and forget it all? How does this…

Analysis of the past 2 days…

So today I am really thinking about the past two days….would they have been the same without wine? Would they have been better or worse without wine? Thursday was graduation night, the 1st night with my whole family here and my husband’s family too (I like my family, but his I have a hard time…

5-28-2016 Sober Summer Begins!

This will be my sober date. I have made it through Graduation and the party with drinking only what others did (at least until I was home safely out of view from all)! Wine did not make the events better but it did get me through them without the questioning from my heavy drinking family…

How the hell do I do this???

Really fucked up tonight (sorry for the profanity but that is all there is to it). My youngest, who is leaving for college this upcoming fall, had a soccer game tonight, has graduation tomorrow, and the party I’m giving him on Friday….is fabulous, but leaving non the less. I’m overwhelmed and my entire family is…

Day 3…

I am going to make it through today but can’t help thinking WHY it is that alcohol has such a grip on me and how insane is it to think that something which makes me completely forget moments and even entire nights, is what my mind is desperately wanting? I don’t know if I can…

Day 2, but not happy.

So I have barely made it through the evening, but I have made it through sober. Honestly, I wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for my oldest son (and biggest supporter) being home tonight. I am sober for him, not me tonight. My youngest is off with friends and my husband has gone out…

Finding myself….

So, I have been reading a lot, Annie Grace’s “This Naked Mind” to be specific. I know that wine does nothing for me and she keeps telling me to remember back to who I was before wine. Problem is, I have been drinking heavily since I was 15 years old so I’m not really sure…

And, Day 1 again :(

Really didn’t want to post and actually thought I wouldn’t…maybe I’d just skip it and pretend everything was going just fine. Well, it hasn’t been. I didn’t drink Friday, but drank last night…a LOT! I don’t know what I was thinking exactly but do know that I was feeling sorry for myself, doubting my relationship…

A stronger day 2!

Okay, so I have made it past my blip and am over it now! I am continuing on my sober journey and really happy about it today. Went shopping with my boys and am getting ready for a quite, uneventful, evening with them all (which makes me very happy). I don’t know why I would…

Slipped…so again I start over.

Well, last night was dreadful. I was alone, I was tired, and I just wanted to check out. I knew it was a terrible idea but I had wine anyway. It’s like once the thought was in my head and I knew no one would be around to say anything, I was doomed. I drove…

Growing up!

Okay, so day 8 today and I listened to a few podcasts that resonated with me. I’ve always felt I had to be at every event for my kids, cook dinners each night so we could eat at the table together, juggle the sports activities, school activities and be an active participant in it all…and…

One week done!

Today is the end of 7 days, one entire week without wine!!!! This is the longest I’ve ever made it (without being pregnant) and now focused on getting to day 10. I still have a headache and am not sleeping great, but it is so very nice to wake up and remember the night, to…