Day 2 again!

Day 2 is almost complete and I’m going to make it 🙂 Thought about wine on my way home from work, the witching hour, and really didn’t think about stopping just kept thinking about what it would get me…after the first two glasses. I love the first two glasses, if only I could stop there…

Sober tonight :)

Tonight I am sober! I am reading the book “Drink” and am halfway through it. It’s intriguing…a little randomly written, but I’m liking it. I am finding that reading is a way to keep my mind at rest and focused on just one thing, which is hard for me. I’m feeling a bit stronger today…

Another go….

I’m here, I’m stressed and trying so hard to get it into my stubborn head that wine does nothing good for me! I know this, so why is it such a struggle? My Friday night will be spent watching a movie, without wine. What a revelation it will be when I don’t have to watch…

A Father’s Day Beginning!

Today was long, last night was terrible! I drank last night, and then drove while drinking to get more wine and then proceeded to fight with my husband over who knows what. Woke up defeated, yet more determined than ever. I AM GOING TO GET THIS! So mid afternoon our oldest Beagle, started acting really…

Reasons NOT to drink today!

Trying to convince myself of this sober path that I so desperately want but the voice in my head is so VERY LOUD! It’s only about 4pm here and I’m already thinking about wine. So, what will I get if I drink wine tonight? Here it is: 1. My oldest son will be disappointed…AGAIN. 2….

Is it even worth it?

So, I sit here alone at a bookstore. Wondering what the point of this all is, yet I know. Why is it so hard to make myself see how wonderful life can be without wine and to want that life all the time? Why am I so sad at the prospect of not having that…

Rock Bottom….

So, today is it, today is my first day of the rest of my life (without wine)! I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, although still trying to figure out some of those reasons….. This week a lot has happened. I found an amazing web site, the BFB, and the support on…

Well it didn’t work yet, but will!

So the SMART Recovery meeting was pretty good. I love the concept and the whole inspirational aspect and positivity of it. Only problem is there was a girl that I wanted to slap!!! She had an opinion on everything and felt she was an expert on how to deal with every issue each person had….overeating,…

Starting again tomorrow.

Tonight is going to be my last night of wine. I have to do this. The utter disappointment in my son’s eyes tonight when I showed up with wine was shattering, yet I still drink. Tomorrow, I am going to my first SMART Recovery meeting that is here locally (just found this out)! I have…

Trapped!

So this was last night….I was trapped (figuratively) in a car with my husband! I got home without wine and thought this would be it, my day one. Then it hit me “I should have gotten wine on the way home…shit”! Now, off to a soccer game for my son and my husband was driving…

Fighting through the desire!!!

Oh, how I want wine tonight….WHY???? I hate this feeling. I hate wanting something that I know I will regret, will make me forget the night, might/will cause arguments, and will leave me tired and feeling like crap in the morning. So why do I feel it would be such as good thing right now?…

I thought I could…..

I may be one of those. One who doesn’t make it through, and I think I may be okay with that now. I thought I had this and I had a plan…a bookcase that I have been wanting for the past 13 years (yes, I’m odd like that but also supposed to be an interior…