A sober day!

So today was different, things have shifted in my mind. There was no desire to drink and honestly it scares me to know. I am a blackout drunk. It is terrifying not knowing what you did an said and know that you were functioning that way for hours! I keep thinking if alcohol does anything…

Day 2 done.

So today was difficult, work is hard (an obnoxiously rude boss) and a husband with passive aggressive tendencies put me in a bad place. Driving home from work all I could think about was “I just want to disappear”. Then someone from the BFB called me after I reached out for help….yes, I did it!…

Back with a Purpose!

Today I will not drink. I have failed so many times and keep trying, but today I will not drink. I have realized that I am terrified of life without wine, fearful of all the bottled up feelings/resentments/hurts/sadness/loneliness….I don’t want to feel it all or any of it really. I just want it to all…

Overwhelmed.

Day 2 is almost over and I’m feeling so overwhelmed with this trying to self-care. Got home early from work so I could get a workout in and my son and his friends are all working out in our “mini-work out room”! So, after the piece of cake that I ate on the way home,…

Again, again, and again…

Another day one. I have had it with all the drama, the blackouts, the misery that wine brings. This has to be it. I failed again at stringing the days together but must do this and am really wanting this for me. I want to be healthy, happy, and want to love myself. I am…

Day 2, trying to find balance.

So I have made it through Day 2. At home, making dinner, with a book to read tonight. I didn’t feel like drinking tonight but I was so very frustrated on my way home from work…had to work in time to exercise, cook dinner, make my lunch for tomorrow, blah, blah, blah, and get to…

Here I go….

So, this will be my 1st of 30 days of blogging (hopefully I won’t miss or skip a day)! Yesterday was a total meltdown and am seriously considering rehab if this doesn’t stick once and for all. The Podcast I listened to today was the Bubble Hour…lots recommend it, but I’m not sure I’m loving…

To blog or not?

So, maybe I do need this blog more than I thought. I feel that I have failed so many times and so many day 1’s only to fail again….maybe this just isn’t working and maybe I can’t do this. Well, today I feel I can. I am adding tools; podcasts, texting friends, and books and…