Today, I am grateful to be sober and to know that there is no chance of drinking today! I am grateful for my family, my two sons and husband, and grateful to have a home to call our own. Grateful for our three dogs and one cat and grateful just to be alive today!
Monday I had an awful event happen which scared me more than ever before. I was drinking, of course. Failed again. All I remember is being really hungry and wanting pizza. That’s the end of my memory of the night. What actually happened, I drove while drunk, went and ordered a pizza (thankfully just around the corner so not far and not in heavy traffic, thank God)! Got home safely by some miracle but in the mist of it all texted a trusted group of sober acquaintances that I have become very close to. There are 8 of us and we started texted each other 6 months ago. 6 of them have accumulated months of sobriety, one even coming up on 1 year. We have shared the most intimate details of our lives for the past 6 months and text multiple times each day. Well, I texted them that I was drinking and driving and thus ended my welcome within the group.
I have lost a group of trusted, compassionate, loving friends, but I have gained the knowledge that this is no way to live. I could have killed myself, gotten a DUI, or killed someone else just the day before my sons came home for the holiday. I am shameful, embarrassed, mortified and scared. So….that puts me on day 3 of sobriety with a commitment that I haven’t ever felt before. I will make it through today sober and will stay close as to keep accountable. May this be it!
Love you all, love the support and encouragement. And I know I can’t do this alone and for that I am so very grateful for each and every one of you!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!
Love,
Christy
runningfromwine 
Hi Christy, you can do this. Sometimes you need a couple of scares to really get to the place where you make the decision. xxx
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Thank you Hurrahforcoffee. You are so very right and I feel I DID need that scare. Learning and growing!
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Hi Christy
This is it now, I can imagine how your are feeling, the only way is up. This week my friend lost her partner to cancer who was only diagnosed 12 weeks ago and another of my friends, a couple I have know since we were young, lost there dear 17 year old daughter in a horrific avoidable road accident. There we are pouring poison into our system every day and wasting our lives. Let’s value our lives instead, I’m on day 6. We are behind you 100% and won’t dump you for what you did on Monday. Forgive yourself, move on, that was a rock bottom, the only way is up now xx
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Thank you Daisy. That is terrible and such a sad but true perspective on poisoning ourselves! I remember when my mom was going through chemo and my dad was in a motorcycle accident without a helmet. She was furious because he was being reckless while she was fighting for her very life! Thank you for reminding me of that, I will carry it forward and continue on this path! Wishing you well and keep going…I’ll be right behind you!
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Hi Christy
I’m sorry you’ve lost your support group – perhaps they felt they needed to be cruel to be kind and by showing some ‘tough love’ they would ‘shock’ you into action. My experience with blogsphere has been that some (not all) newly sober peeps get increasingly frustrated with those who stumble and slip. Generally it comes from a place of concern and a desire for that person to find the peace they are discovering. And yet, we all have to get there for ourselves, something has to shift and stick. I hope you have found your bottom.. it’s time to let the spade go. xxx
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SWMum…totally agree and feel like it was what I needed (a good kick in the ass)! I respect their decision and really feel like it actually DID help me. I feel determined and focused and I will keep going! Thank you!
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