Day 12…Navigating.

This is honestly the longest I have been sober since I was pregnant 18 years ago! I’m feeling proud, happy, relieved that the battle within myself is subsiding a bit and it is becoming easier little by little. It’s still hard though. I still am navigating my feelings around my husband’s drinking, tying not to…

Merry Christmas 2016!

Merry Christmas all! This will be my first sober Christmas (aside from two pregnancies) in about 25 years! Last night was amazing and enlightening! We have a tradition of ordering Chinese take-out on Christmas Eve, and so that we did. My husband’s brother and his 3 year old son came over as did my best…

Day 5!

Day 5 is almost complete and I’m feeling pretty darn happy about it! I know it won’t last; the excitement of going to bed sober, the relief to know that I won’t forget the evening, and the peace that I have found these past 5 days….but I am going to enjoy it while it lasts…

Final day 1….

So, today I commit to being sober. I surrender. I am willing. I will not give up. My two sons are home from college and they will be here until the first week or so after the New Year and I am doing this for me alone, but their presence will certainly help! I can’t…

Letter to my Husband….

Dear (husband’s name), I am sorry. More of this will come, more specifics and more completeness. But for now, here is what I can tell you. Wine makes me so very unhappy. I don’t know how to stop but I am going to just do it. Stop. And breathe. And figure out who I am….

Perspective & Perfectionism….

My perspective on things is changing, ever so slowly but it is changing. I’m learning to let things go which has been a long process. I grew up with a stay at home mom and everything in our home was always perfect, always clean, and everything was always in the right place. Me, now, not…