So, day 3. Why is living without a depressant (alcohol) scary? Why do we feel our lives deserve better? Some do deserve better, I truly believe that. I think some people really get a bad deck of cards and really deserve SO much better. Not me. I grew up in a middle class family (who drank a lot). I was adopted, so I have that abandonment feeling that came back when my biological family found me then it was too hard for them to know me so they disappeared again….but that is nothing compared to trauma that sexual assault victims, homeless people, hard core drug addicts that have lost everything….I am so very lucky and why can’t I just appreciate that? I’m trying. I have a family…a husband that is still here. Two AMAZING boys (grown men, 21 and 18) who are fabulously smart, funny, gorgeous and love me unconditionally. I am the lucky one. I may not deserve it, but I am going to really start to acknowledge and appreciate it more. I will focus on the now, what I can control and not what I can’t. Thank you all for just being….you are each amazing!!!
All I can say is that at the four month mark I can see that alcohol probably caused me more depression than I thought. It felt at the time that it helped with depression but now I am not so sure. The initial euphoria was followed by severe downs and self loathing. Sleep problems were common. Now I feel more stable and sleep is good.
Byron Katie talks a lot about self love, how important it is. I am learning…slowly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve quit again too, Christy. Do this with me. We both need to focus on healing ourselves, both from the addiction and those negative inner thoughts. We can and we will! We will learn to get (as IQW refers to above) our euphoria in other ways. It will just take work. Day 3 is awesome, you are on your way! You did 3 weeks so recently, so you know you can do it. We can take this further. Let’s get to 30 and chat about it! Just 30! Feel free to email me directly anytime at habitdone@gmail.com.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yayy for day 3 🙂 Keep going, you can do it. It is scary but it’s worth it x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I slipped up and had a night on it which I deeply regretted the day after as it had been weeks so day 4 for me. Will set up a new blog tomorrow instead of trying to go it alone. Just wanted you to know I’m still right here rooting for you, I’m still convinced 2017 is our year x
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is scary, at least it was for me.
It takes a whole different way of looking at life when we are sober.
But it is really worth it.
xo
Wendy
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person