Still going and feeling more grateful every day. I was at an AA meeting this week (I’m not a huge fan of AA, but found a group I really like)…never judge before you really dig deep and get all the information to make that judgement!
I realized that I had to surrender my attachment to the outside and look deep within myself. I had, for SO many years, blamed everything outside of me for all my “problems”. My husband wasn’t supportive in the way I needed, we didn’t have enough money, I didn’t like my job, my mom died way too early and left me behind, I had WAY too much to do and too much responsibility for one person, etc…What I didn’t look at was my part in it all, or more importantly what I could do about it.
Truth is, there wasn’t much I could do aside from accept it for what it was. I needed to appreciate what I DID have and not focus on the uncontrollable. I can tell you it took a LONG time to get here. First, it was letting go of the mess around the house when the boys were little. Then, it was not overreacting to spills, breaks, and accidents of all kinds. Next, and only recently, it was accepting that I don’t have to do it all, that I was doing enough, that all of the “stuff” would get done eventually as it needed to…but there was no rush.
This was huge for me. I credit my sobriety today to it, and am holding tight to that mind set. I am focusing on the moments and not letting them get overshadowed by that which I cannot do anything about. I am accepting my life, just as it is!!!
Learn to let go and it will set you free!