Day 175. Restless.

Lately, I have been feeling restless and a bit uneasy.  I don’t think there is the thought that drinking would make anything better, I am certain it wouldn’t.  There is the desire to escape my thoughts, my feelings, and my uneasiness.  I don’t like the uncertainty of not knowing how to process my thoughts.

I think this is all coming from my finishing up a big project…a personal project (I am making a cookbook for my kids).  It’s an online thing where I’m putting all the recipes we grew up having together and I am ready to submit it tomorrow.  I have been so focused on this and it has consumed much of my time that the end of this is creating a bit of fear in me.  What now?  I have been working on this since I got home from treatment, and like everything it is coming to an end.  I am excited to get it printed and more excited to give it to them, to be able to pass along a part of our family traditions and remind them of our everyday lives…a way for them to remember moments and create their own memories with the families they build.

I guess I need a new passion, a new focus.  Continuing on my sober journey…one step at a time.  Figuring life out, ever so gently.

Keep going,

Christy

9 Comments Add yours

  1. ainsobriety says:

    Something new will come up to excite you.
    It’s always a bit of a letdown to finish a project.
    You are right. Drinking won’t fix that restlessness.
    How exciting to be almost done your cookbook!
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, and yes it’s a bit of a letdown, but I am so excited to have it done as well!!! I’m giving myself some space to find something new!

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  2. Your cookbook idea sounds lovely. Alcohol will never help, it will never be the answer. A new hobby will come along. These feelings will pass, its just a stage 🙂

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    1. Thank you, and I am grateful that I know alcohol wouldn’t help anything…actually, it would make things SO much worse! Feeling the feelings and I’m just going to let them be until I come upon some new focus!

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  3. saoirsek says:

    Love the idea of a cookbook, that’s the fruits of your sobriety. I got so much more creative in sobriety. Yeah, seriously, alcohol never works🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I admire you made a cookbook! I wish my mom had done that..not that I cook, but I might have made a few of the cookies and cakes! LOL
    I need to start a book on my nature photos, as I love taking them when I walk.
    I struggle with finding things too, but if you search, and try a few new things, I know something will come!
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. Thank you…the cookbook is something I can be proud of (even if they never use it)!!! Your nature photos would make a beautiful book, you should definitely consider that!!!

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  5. That cookbook is a great idea and something your family will treasure, I love it. I think creativity is key, I crave it to keep me sane. My latest thing is making tote bags. It’s pretty easy and they make good gifts.

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    1. Thank you! Creativity helps me a lot too…making things and being able to see the results has a sense of accomplishment and meaning! Tote bags sound awesome…and SUCH a good gift idea!

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